A simple rant

In the past I've tried to do something creative with the blog — you know, spice it up a little, make it interesting.

Sorry folks, this week it's going to be a simple rant: Rush Limbaugh is an idiot.

If you all haven't heard yet, this past week, Limbaugh has stooped so far as to question an individual's disability.

If that's not bad enough, the disabled is none other than Parkinson's sufferer Michael J. Fox, a beloved actor... no... a national treasure.

Teen Wolf anyone?

Limbaugh accused Fox of playing up his Parkinson's disease while appearing in Democratic campaign commercials to advocate stem-cell research.

I feel like maybe Limbaugh is the one who is truly disabled, stricken with a severe case of idiocy at birth. Through his life, his disability has only worsened with age to the point where the average American can't stand the blowhard.

Some of the symptoms of idiocy include: asinine comments and a childish need for attention.

People who show symptoms of idiocy may also suffer from a high divorce rate and the need to abuse prescription pain killers.

Call your doctor if you think you suffer from idiocy, as potential risks may increase with political affiliation.

News of the weird

Wait for it, wait for it… Mike Tyson is "very serious" about fighting women on his upcoming world tour.

Awesome.

Because there aren’t already enough scumbag guys out there beating up defenseless women. And Tyson does have a history of sexual assault, so it’s only logical that he should try to legitimize his inner-Neanderthal and call out some of the most prominent female boxers in the field.

It makes you wonder how people like Tyson can even function in normal society. I almost want to see it happen because, the way that Tyson has been spiraling downward, he’d probably lose anyway.

In other odd news this week, scientists have located a rare meteorite in a Kansas wheat field. The meteorite is a pallasite meteorite. Less than one percent of meteorites found on Earth are pallasite, making this find very rare.

I hate to draw parallels, but didn’t Clark Kent a.k.a. Superman also crash to Earth in a strange meteorite in a Kansas wheat field?

It might just be the comic-book nerd in me, but I’m going to put that theory out there, and you guys can think whatever you want. I’m just saying that if a blue-suited bumpkin starts saving cute, female reporters from The Daily Planet, I called it way ahead of time.

Apparently confident students do worse in math than self-conscious kids.

According to a report by the Brookings Institution's Brown Center on Education Policy, nations with the best math scores also have the least happy, least confident math students.

Wow, so there is a reason mathematicians are nerds with poor social skills. Thank you Brookings Institution for supplying bullies (of all ages) across the world with more artillery to make fun of geeks.

World’s most generous woman dies at the age of 100 and donates 35.6 million dollars to cancer research.

Apparently this lady lived in a small condo and denied herself in-home care in an effort to raise as much money as possible for diabetes and cancer research. She willed it away after her death because she didn’t want any recognition.

Thank you Eugenia Dodson, the world needs more individuals like you.

News in surround sound

I think life needs a soundtrack.

How great would that be? Having the perfect, most relevant tune playing while experiencing everyday life would enhance all of our experiences.

Imagine reading a newspaper — but with sound (yeah, I know you can just watch CNN, but agree with me for the sake of argument). Every article would have a different track that would be perfectly appropriate for that story.

Unfortunately, this is impossible in the newspaper biz — but this isn’t a newspaper it’s a blog.

This is purely experimental, understand, and my idea of the perfect tune won’t be yours, but I’m going to run down some of the major news stories of the last week, and include an "appropriate" track.

So get your Morpheus running, because here we go:

The Amish School Shooting: Isn’t it a pity, by George Harrison
The saddest and most touching story in recent news deserves the saddest most touching song I can think of. The Amish school shooting at Nickel Mines was terrible, but some good may still come of it. The Amish community is handling the situation bravely and teaching the rest of the world what it means to be truly forgiving and openhearted.

Study: Men delay medical care when the game's on: Keep me in your heart, by Warren Zevon
Simply put, us men are delaying our visits to the emergency room because the big game is on. Zevon’s song discusses his family remembering him when he’s dead and gone, which is what these guys will be if they don’t start prioritizing things. Me man, me like football…

Terrell Owens returns to Philadelphia: Sympathy for the devil, by the Rolling Stones
After this week’s performance against Philly, you can’t help but feel bad for T.O. He was booed mercilessly, and played like crap. The Eagles did romp on the Cowboys, so that makes it a little easier to hate T.O. a little less.

Yankees pitcher dead in plane crash: All is full of love, Death Cab for Cutie
This song is full of emotion and is more for Cory Lidle’s family — the most tragic victims of this situation.

The Foley scandal: Anything by Michael Jackson
Um… enough said.

When scandal takes over the real news

It's been the type of week that reporters both dread and desire. A few big stories have taken over the news cycle this past week including the horrific Amish school shooting and the Mark Foley debacle.

A scandal like Foley's makes instant headlines. Consider the Monica Lewinsky scandal. As much as people said they didn't want to read about the President's affair, they still picked up the paper. While Foley doesn't command as much media attention as a member of the Clinton family, he is still a prominent elected official. And he acted inappropriately toward a group of under age pages. Reporters start your engines.

A few days later, a disturbed man entered an Amish school in Lancaster and murdered several young women execution style. It was horrific. It was ugly. And it was news.

Covering a shooting is never fun, but it is indeed news. It is such an extremely rare event, particularly in this case, that it commands instant attention.

However, balancing two big stories such as this can be complex. Both are undoubtedly big news. The Foley scandal could shake the GOP Congressional leadership and could affect the midterm elections. No longer can the Republican party claim total ownership of the family values slogan.

But the shooting is a horrific human tragedy. It is unfortunately bigger news - unfortunate because it had to happen at all; unfortunate because the Amish people, who are generally a private and respectful people had to be harmed in such a brutal way. And it was unfortunate that the members of the Amish community have been dragged into the spotlight they generally seek to avoid. They have been dragged into our living rooms even though they have tried desperately to stay out.

We will continue to follow both events, and we hope you will too. Consider this. These two events are formative pieces of history. One could have a dramatic effect on this year's elections, and the other may change the way millions of people see the Amish community.