Collegian: News

All the news that's fit to blog

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Surreal news

Do you ever read something that just makes you say, "What the heck?"


Do you live in a cave?

Well in that case, here are a couple news stories that should make you scratch your head, laugh, and wonder about the stupidity of your fellow citizens:

In Florida a man decided to smoke crack cocaine and woke up naked in the mouth of an alligator. Authorities had to wade into waste-deep mud and wrestle the man from the gator's mouth, like a toy from a dog. The man lost an arm and severely broke his other arm.
Lesson: Don't smoke crack cocaine and go wading. (Don't smoke crack cocaine.)

In San Francisco sea lions are terrorizing local beach-goers. A renegade sea lion has bitten 14 different individuals. Our assistant sports editor, Dan Winklebleck has a theory that Steven Spielberg is responsible for this. After the movie Jaws people went crazy and started killing off sharks left and right, which led to a mass increase in sea lion population. And now we're seeing the consequence.
Lesson: When you see a sea lion, run like hell.

Prince Charles recently released a cook book. Have you seen this guy? He looks like he's been dead for 20 years. Whatever he's eating I want no part of. Plus it's organic food, so it's got to be pure rubbish.
Lesson: When you're already rich, don't try to branch out.